As my incident with the tea kettle reveals, I am having some difficulty with daily tasks. Here are some others:
I don't know how to go for a walk without a leash in my hand and plastic bags in my pocket.
I don't know how to start my day without first letting a dog out. Should I shower first? Eat something? Make tea?
When I come home from work, I'm not sure what to do. Hang up my coat? Get the mail? Did I get the mail already?
I found this weekend when I ate some (gluten free) pizza I had all the crusts left. I looked at my plate with a furrowed brow until I realized that for 9+ years I had tossed all my crusts to the patient golden retriever sitting at my feet. Do other people actually eat their pizza crusts?
The front walk needs to be shoveled. I used to do this while Meli frolicked in the snow. It made a stupid chore enjoyable. Now it's just a stupid chore . . . that still isn't done.
I am writing this post from work. It's almost 9p at night. I have no desire to go home. This is going to be a problem . . . Unless: do they have showers here?
Monday, December 03, 2007
How . . . ?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Oh my goodness ... I am a complete stranger to you yet here I sit, tears running down my cheeks as I read about this tremendous void in your life. I have been visiting your blog at the urgings of a mutual friend (Andy Sytsma) so I feel, in that way you only can in a blog world, that I'm walking with you through this in some small way. There are no words other than the insignificant "I'm sorry" ... yet sorry I truly am. May God bless you and comfort you in tangible, meaningful ways during these days ahead.
Mary...I am so sorry for your loss and your deep grief. Know you are in my prayers.
Sue
This post broke my heart. :(
It kind of reminded me of when my grandpa died really suddenly four years ago. I kept expecting him to walk around the corner and say, "Racheeeeeee!" And it freaked me out when I used the bathroom and his toothbrush and everything was still sitting by the sink.
It's good and healthy that you're allowing yourself to grieve and acknowledge this void in your life. It'll take time, but eventually you'll be able to miss Meli and feel normal at the same time.
I'm sorry again for your loss...may you find strength in the days ahead.
Mary, I have been thinking and praying and hoping for you so much this past week. I hope that, little by little,that void gets filled with the happiest memories, both past and future.
Post a Comment